"Hello God! It's me Cat. Can you hear me?" So many times I have found myself being swallowed up in a cesspool of despair, sadness, fear, and loneliness and try as I may I just can't seem to find God anywhere. I pray, perhaps half heartedly because of what I am feeling and still I find no comfort; I don't feel God. Then, in desperation, I cry out in a loud, almost angry voice, "Are You there? Cause really God if you are I'm can't find you! You need to let me know you are there!"
Some might think that's a little crazy, yelling at God and if you witnessed some of my pleas, I probably look crazy too! But crazy as I may look or sound, God hears me and always makes His presence known. I have experienced the presence of God is so many different ways, some very loud and clear and others are but a whisper. One night not long ago, I was in the deepest grasp of Satan. (Yes, even the most devout Christians are suseptable to him) I was depressed, scared and at one point heard Satan tell me to drive into a tree, that no one would miss me. At that moment I recognized that Satan had ahold of me and knew that I had to do something. That night, I lay in bed physically sobbing and in my anguish I cried out to God. I cried myself to sleep that night and in a dream I was standing in a field with thousands of people, including my husband and on a cloud I saw the Lord. He was robed in white with a gold sash and was standing with His arms outstretched. I yelled to everyone around me that He was there but no one could see Him but me. He had let me know that He was with me. I awoke with all despair gone and a feeling of peace I hadn't felt in a while.
I wish I could say that every time I feel God's presence I see Him in all His glory but that's not always the case. Sometimes God is much more subtle. Yesterday was one of those instances where God's presence was but a whisper that was heard loud and clear. I was feeling insignificant and doutful; not sure where I fit in the grand scheme of things. I was trying to listen for God and prayed for His guidance and wisdom. Then came a text message from a sister in Christ that was a scripture that I needed to see. Then I received a visit from two very special people in my life and they brought me a gift that they said God had compelled them to do and told me how important our friendship was to them. As unworthy as I felt receiving that gift, it was not only something I had wanted but it was God's way of reminding me that while I may not feel important to myself, I am loved and important to Him and His people. Encouraging words from family members assuring me that I am on the path that God has layed out for me erased the doubt I felt with my walk. God whispered loudly and I am so grateful I heard.
Sometimes we need to be still and wait; sometimes we need to cry out but always we need to rely on Him for our needs, spiritually, physically and emotionally. Whether it is by a whisper or the message is loud and clear, know that when you call on Him, He is there.
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
The Lord your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers. Deuteronomy 4:31
Shhhh! Can you hear Him?
Until next time,
God bless,
Cat
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