I awoke this morning with this overwhelming feeling that I needed to write today. Funny, because I haven't had this strong of a feeling in awhile, so I asked the Lord, "Okay, so what do I write about?" Silence...."I'm waiting, Lord. I felt the nudge now give me the words." Still, silence. So, I sat and I waited and I waited some more. Finally, in a small, almost silent whisper I heard, "Me." I wanted to ignore that response but as is custom for the Holy Spirits urging, the response didn't change. I just kept hearing, "Me." So, here I go.
The "Me" I writing about is not "me"; it's the "Me" who is, who was and who is to come; it's the "Me" that whispered to my heart this morning, Jesus Christ. Now, the subject of Jesus Christ, is something that I could write pages about. I could talk about His love, His grace, His mercy, His compassion, His supremacy, His sacrifice, and His miracles, but for today I want to talk about His desire. The desire that He has for us.
Websters defines desire as to long for or hope for. Jesus longs for a relationship with us. For many the thought of relationship in and of itself is scary. But the relationship that Jesus desires to have with us is not meant to be scary. In fact, relationship with Him, is probably the easiest relationship anyone could have. Unlike our human relationships, where we sometimes feel the need to be someone we are not or we fear disappointing the other, a relationship with Jesus is a come as you are relationship. Jesus, doesn't care what we look like; He understands our mood swings and knows all of our failures; Jesus knows we're not perfect and we are sure to disappoint Him, but Jesus accepts us, just as we are, and loves us just the same. In relationship with Him, there is no scorecard of wrongs or reminders of your weaknesses, there is just pure, unadulterated love and acceptance.
Personally, I struggled with human relationships for years. I never felt that who I am was good enough for any human relationship. I pretended to be who I thought people wanted me to be- an actress on the stage of relationships. I was never, the real me, in front of anyone, because the real me, I was sure would bring disappointment. It wasn't until many years later, that I learned that Jesus Christ desired a relationship with the real me, not the actress, just me and it was the most liberating thing I have ever experienced. I didn't have to go through months of relationship therapy or work through a checklist of wrongs to right to have this relationship; I simply had to run into His waiting arms. I envision His tears of joy as I finally met His desire and He wraps me in His loving arms. There are no feelings of inadequacy or imperfection in this relationship, for in His eyes I am perfect. Through His sacrifice, I am forgiven, therefore I don't have to beg for His forgiveness, He just gives it. Relationship with Jesus is easy, it's free, it's safe, and it ours for the taking, all we have to do is accept and believe.
When you enter into this unconditional kind of relationship with Jesus Christ, the rest of life's relationships become easier. When you can accept that Jesus is accepting of you with all your faults and failures, you find it easier to accept others with all their faults and failures. When you can accept that Jesus forgives all your sins, you find it easier to forgive others. When you enter into a relationship with Jesus, you do away with the scorecards, you love more easily and you accept others more openly. Whew, what a liberating feeling!
If you don't have a relationship with Jesus, please know that the greatest desire of His heart is to know you and for you to know Him. Simply ask Him to come into your heart and accept His infinite love. If you have a relationship with Jesus, know that the greatest desire of His heart is to grow deeper in relationship with you. He wants you to rely on Him in ALL things, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Until next time...this actress has exited stage left!
God Bless,
Cat
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
What's the Secret?
On April 9th, my amazing husband and I celebrated 24 years of marriage. It's hard to believe that it has been that long ~ it seems like just yesterday we were saying "I do". We received many congratulation messages and beautiful anniversary cards celebrating our marriage. I also had some ask what our secret is to lasting this many years. My oldest son even commented that many of his friends think its weird that his parents are still together. So I thought I might share some secrets that I've learned over the years.
In all honesty, there were times that I (we) thought we wouldn't make it passed the first, the second, the seventh, or the tenth year. The betting ones in my family, thought it would be really good odds that this marriage wouldn't last. And they were ALMOST right. With the exception of having our children, we did almost everything wrong for the first ELEVEN years of marriage. Sure, we shared a home, bills, child rearing, a bedroom, weekends at the local bar, and an occasional family vacation, but it didn't take long before our marriage became more of a routine than a marriage. Before long, he started doing his thing and I did my thing and we'd meet as we passed in the hallway or if we were lucky at the dinner table; roommates at best.
Those first eleven years threw alot of trouble at us as well. The first five years had us dealing with a sick child. Numerous surgeries and the uncertainty of our son's future, left us hurting and scared, but instead of clinging to one another for support, we dealt with it on our own driving our union further apart. There were financial issues and family illnesses and again, instead of clinging to each other, we allowed these troubles to fester inside. By the time we were eleven years into this "marriage" we were both ready to call it quits. Don't get me wrong, we loved each other, we had just allowed life to interfere for so long that we had forgotten why we got married in the first place.
I wish I could say that the transformation of our marriage and our relationship was quick and easy but it wasn't. Our first step was finding a church home; not an easy undertaking given the fact that my husband was an atheist. But we both realized that doing things our way wasn't working, so this was worth a try and it was there that our journey of reconciliation began. We attended every Bible study available regarding marriage and participated in an intense seminar called His Needs Her Needs where we dissected our marriage to the bone. It was then that we realized that we were missing out on so much more!
Firstly, and most importantly, we both developed a relationship with Jesus Christ. This became the foundation of our marriage and our lives, making everything else come easy. With this firm foundation in place, we began to work on us. One of the most important things we learned was that we are better together than apart. What I mean by that is that dealing with life is so much easier when you do it together and trust in the Lord. Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him and He will direct your paths."
Secondly, we re-examined why we fell in love in the first place. We began doing the little things that came so easily when we were dating. Sweet little love notes and walks in the park; alone time together without the kids and meaningless chats in the moonlight. Before long, we were feeling the kind of love we'd been missing.
Another really important thing we both were reminded of was that marriage is a give and take. We knew that each of us had different things we liked to do and different ways of recharging our batteries. It was okay that we did some things alone, but not everything. We needed to be willing to do some of the things the other liked and also find some things we both enjoyed together. So, I found myself in camouflage clothes, carrying a rifle, in the snow, in the mountains of West Virginia on a deer hunt with my husband. I froze my butt off but I learned to appreciate the peace he found in the silence of the woods and it made him happy. Likewise, he would find himself curled up on the sofa with me and bowl of popcorn watching a Lifetime movie, because that made me happy. Give and take.
When Chuck expressed interest in getting a motorcycle, I was not too thrilled, but we discussed it together and decided that he would get one. My first couple of months on the back of that bike were nerve racking to say the least, but I could see the joy riding the motorcycle brought him and as time went on I began to enjoy it more myself. Wouldn't you know it...I have my own bike now and we still smile at each other when we are side by side. The bikes have become a major part of our lives, not just as an activity to do together, but also as a vessel for spreading the gospel with our church motorcycle ministry, the Mountain Riders. Had I not been willing to try something he enjoyed, I would be missing out on so much. Give and take.
Thirteen years after we almost called it quits, we still leave little love notes; we still have meaningless chats in the moonlight; Chuck will watch a chick flick with me once in awhile; I'll put a worm on a hook with him and we ride side by side on our "steel horses" enjoying life and spreading the gospel.
Separate in some things, we are good. Together in all things, we are best!
Until next time, I'm having coffee with my man on the deck!
God bless,
Cat
In all honesty, there were times that I (we) thought we wouldn't make it passed the first, the second, the seventh, or the tenth year. The betting ones in my family, thought it would be really good odds that this marriage wouldn't last. And they were ALMOST right. With the exception of having our children, we did almost everything wrong for the first ELEVEN years of marriage. Sure, we shared a home, bills, child rearing, a bedroom, weekends at the local bar, and an occasional family vacation, but it didn't take long before our marriage became more of a routine than a marriage. Before long, he started doing his thing and I did my thing and we'd meet as we passed in the hallway or if we were lucky at the dinner table; roommates at best.
Those first eleven years threw alot of trouble at us as well. The first five years had us dealing with a sick child. Numerous surgeries and the uncertainty of our son's future, left us hurting and scared, but instead of clinging to one another for support, we dealt with it on our own driving our union further apart. There were financial issues and family illnesses and again, instead of clinging to each other, we allowed these troubles to fester inside. By the time we were eleven years into this "marriage" we were both ready to call it quits. Don't get me wrong, we loved each other, we had just allowed life to interfere for so long that we had forgotten why we got married in the first place.
I wish I could say that the transformation of our marriage and our relationship was quick and easy but it wasn't. Our first step was finding a church home; not an easy undertaking given the fact that my husband was an atheist. But we both realized that doing things our way wasn't working, so this was worth a try and it was there that our journey of reconciliation began. We attended every Bible study available regarding marriage and participated in an intense seminar called His Needs Her Needs where we dissected our marriage to the bone. It was then that we realized that we were missing out on so much more!
Firstly, and most importantly, we both developed a relationship with Jesus Christ. This became the foundation of our marriage and our lives, making everything else come easy. With this firm foundation in place, we began to work on us. One of the most important things we learned was that we are better together than apart. What I mean by that is that dealing with life is so much easier when you do it together and trust in the Lord. Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge him and He will direct your paths."
Secondly, we re-examined why we fell in love in the first place. We began doing the little things that came so easily when we were dating. Sweet little love notes and walks in the park; alone time together without the kids and meaningless chats in the moonlight. Before long, we were feeling the kind of love we'd been missing.
Another really important thing we both were reminded of was that marriage is a give and take. We knew that each of us had different things we liked to do and different ways of recharging our batteries. It was okay that we did some things alone, but not everything. We needed to be willing to do some of the things the other liked and also find some things we both enjoyed together. So, I found myself in camouflage clothes, carrying a rifle, in the snow, in the mountains of West Virginia on a deer hunt with my husband. I froze my butt off but I learned to appreciate the peace he found in the silence of the woods and it made him happy. Likewise, he would find himself curled up on the sofa with me and bowl of popcorn watching a Lifetime movie, because that made me happy. Give and take.
When Chuck expressed interest in getting a motorcycle, I was not too thrilled, but we discussed it together and decided that he would get one. My first couple of months on the back of that bike were nerve racking to say the least, but I could see the joy riding the motorcycle brought him and as time went on I began to enjoy it more myself. Wouldn't you know it...I have my own bike now and we still smile at each other when we are side by side. The bikes have become a major part of our lives, not just as an activity to do together, but also as a vessel for spreading the gospel with our church motorcycle ministry, the Mountain Riders. Had I not been willing to try something he enjoyed, I would be missing out on so much. Give and take.
Thirteen years after we almost called it quits, we still leave little love notes; we still have meaningless chats in the moonlight; Chuck will watch a chick flick with me once in awhile; I'll put a worm on a hook with him and we ride side by side on our "steel horses" enjoying life and spreading the gospel.
Separate in some things, we are good. Together in all things, we are best!
Until next time, I'm having coffee with my man on the deck!
God bless,
Cat
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